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SAT 3分范文 (2)

2019-08-14

SAT ESSAY Sample 2
SAT 3分范文 - 2

 
As you read the passage below, consider how Eliana Dockterman uses
• evidence, such as facts or examples, to support claims.
• reasoning to develop ideas and to connect claims and evidence.
• stylistic or persuasive elements, such as word choice or appeals to emotion, to add power to the ideas expressed.
 
Adapted from Eliana Dockterman, “The Digital Parent Trap.” ©2013 by Time Inc. Originally published August 19, 2013.

1. By all measures, this generation of American kids (ages 3 to 18) is the tech-savviest in history: 27% of them use tablets, 43% use smartphones, and 52% use laptops. And in just a few weeks they will start the most tech-saturated school year ever: Los Angeles County alone will spend $30 million on classroom iPads this year, outfitting 640,000 kids by late 2014.

2. Yet, according to the latest findings from the research firm Grunwald Associates, barely half of U.S. parents agree that mobile technology should play a more prominent role in schools. Some are even paying as much as $24,000 to send their kids to monthlong “digital detox” programs like the one at Capio Nightingale Hospital in the U.K....

3. So who’s right—the mom trying to protect her kids from the perils of new technology or the dad who’s coaching his kids to embrace it? It’s an urgent question at a time when more than 80% of U.S. school districts say they are on the cusp of incorporating Web-enabled tablets into everyday curriculums.

4. For years, the Parental Adage was simple: The less time spent with screens, the better. That thinking stems from, among other things, reports about the rise of cyberbullying...as well as the fact that social media—specifically the sight of others looking happy in photos—can make kids feel depressed and insecure.

5. There’s also a fundamental aversion to sitting kids in front of screens, thanks to decades of studies proving that watching too much TV can lead to obesity, violence and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder.

6. In that vein, the Waldorf Schools- a consortium of private K-12 schools in North America designed to “connect children to nature” and “ignite passion for lifelong learning”—limit tech in the classroom and bar the use of smartphones, laptops, televisions and even radios at home. “You could say some computer games develop creativity,” says Lucy Wurtz, an administrator at the Waldorf School in Los Altos, Calif., minutes from Silicon Valley. “But I don’t see any benefit. Waldorf kids knit and build things and paint—a lot of really practical and creative endeavors.”

7. But it’s not that simple. While there are dangers inherent in access to Facebook, new research suggests that social-networking sites also offer unprecedented learning opportunities. “Online, kids can engage with specialized communities of interest,”
says Mimi Ito, an anthropologist at the University of California at Irvine who’s studying how technology affects young adults. “They’re no longer limited by what’s offered in school.”

8. Early tech use has cognitive benefits as well. Although parenting experts have questioned the value of educational games- as Jim Taylor, author of Raising Generation Tech, puts it, “they’re a load of crap... meant to make money”—new studies have shown they can add real value. In a recent study by SRI, a nonprofit research firm, kids who played games like Samorost (solving puzzles) did 12% better on logic tests than those who did not. And at MIT’s Education Arcade, playing the empire-building game Civilization piqued students’ interest in history and was directly linked to an improvement in the quality of their history-class reports.

9. The reason: engagement. On average, according to research cited by MIT, students can remember only 10% of what they read, 20% of what they hear and 50% of what they see demonstrated. But when they’re actually doing something themselves- in the virtual worlds on iPads or laptops—that retention rate skyrockets to 90%.

10. This is a main reason researchers like Ito say the American Academy of Pediatrics’ recommendation of a two-hour screen-time limit is an outdated concept: actively browsing pages on a computer or tablet is way more brain-stimulating than vegging out in front of the TV.
11   The most convincing argument for early-age tech fluency, however, is more basic: staying competitive. “If you look at applying for college or a job, that’s on the computer,” says Shawn Jackson, principal of Spencer Tech, a public school in one of Chicago’s lower-income neighborhoods. Ditto the essential skills for jobs in fast-growing sectors such as programming, engineering and biotechnology. “If we’re not exposing our students to this stuff early,” Jackson continues, “they’re going to be left behind.”...

12. None of this means kids deserve unfettered access to the gadget of their choice- especially if, as McGrath notes, they’ve already been caught abusing it. As with any childhood privilege, monitoring is key. But parents should keep an open mind about the benefits of tech fluency.
 

Write an essay in which you explain how Eliana Dockterman builds an argument to persuade her audience that there are benefits to early exposure to technology. In your essay, analyze how Dockterman uses one or more of the features listed in the box above (or features of your own choice) to strengthen the logic and persuasiveness of her argument. Be sure that your analysis focuses on the most relevant features of the passage.
Your essay should not explain whether you agree with Dockterman’s claims, but rather explain how Dockterman builds an argument to persuade her audience.

 
 
 
 
 

Model Essay
Score: 3+
3+范文

 Introduction
1 Use a hook/motivator
 
 
2 State the central claim of the passage (title, author, and Purpose)
 
3 Share your Thesis

 
1 Technology has become an indispensable part of our today’s life style, but many people consider it a double-edged sword. The situation becomes more critical when it comes to youngsters. Many parents view technology as a bane rather than a boon. 2 In an article titled, “The Digital Parent Trap”, however, Eliana Dockterman tries to provide telling evidence to justify the youth’s early exposure to technological advancements and electronic gadgets. 3 Her persuasive claim is further buttressed by objective data such as statistics, research studies from reputed universities, and logical clarification coupled with some stylistic elements
 

Body Paragraph 1
1 Summarize the What
2 Explain the How
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
3 Evaluate the Why

 
1To start with, Eliana employs some statistics to show how widespread the use of technology is in American schools.  2 In so doing, she provides figures and numbers (27% using tablets, 43% using smartphones, and 52% using laptops). She also refers to Los Angeles Country school as a case in point where 30 million dollars was invested to equip 640,000 kids with iPads by 2014. To furnish the readers with a more comprehensive picture though, she puts forward counterarguments as well. The findings of Grunwald research firm shows that there is no consensus among parents on the employability of electronic devices in school curricula. She further refers to some adverse effects such as cyberbullying, depression, insecurity, obesity, hyperactivity, aggression, and attention deficit to voice the antagonists’ opinions about the move. 3In fact, by addressing both the pros and cons of the move, she tries to prove her impartiality to present a fair judgement in dealing with the usefulness of technology at schools.
 

Body Paragraph 2
1 Summarize the What
 
2 Explain the How
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
3 Evaluate the Why

 
1 She further mentions an updated research finding and recent studies by SRI and MIT to stabilize her stance on the usefulness of early tech use. 2 A social network website such as Facebook has shown to offer exceptional learning opportunities; “Online, kids can engage with specialized communities of interest.” Moreover, recent findings by a nonprofit research firm SRI shows that kids who played some trouble-shooting computer games surpassed others in logic tests at school. By the same token, kids who played a historical computer game excelled in history class report. MIT research shows that the fundamental reason for this academic supremacy is “engagement.” In fact, scholastic findings show that learning is intimately linked to doing something rather than reading, listening, or watching something.
3 By providing objective scholastic findings, the argument is quite effective to engage the reader in following the author’s position. In fact, the author tries to sell the reader the idea that, contrary to the unfounded belief in two-hour screen-time harms, early tech exposure can elevate our kids’ intellectual growth and active browsing on a computer or tablet can be way more brain-stimulating than vegging out in front of the TV.

Body Paragraph 3
1 Summarize the What
 
 
2 Explain the How
 
 
 
 
3 Evaluate the Why

 
1 Finally, she tries to trigger readers’ worries about their kids’ job opportunities in future. Her reasoning is simple and straightforward. She addresses the parents and holds them responsible for probable kids’ failures.2 First, she makes us believe that it’s a competitive world and staying completive is a must. Second, she avers that in order to keep abreast of the latest occupational vacancies in different fields, computer literacy is indisputable, and if our kids fail to do so, they will be left behind others.3  In fact, by resorting to parents’ feelings of insecurity about future, she convinces the readers that our kids’ success later in life is intractably interwoven with their exposure to early tech use. Finally, to present herself more caring, she urges the parents to control kids’ wild access to electronic gadgets and exert sound monitoring on objectionable materials. She further asks parents to keep away from parochial views to let their kids have their potentials flourish via early use tech experience.
 

Conclusion
1 Restate the thesis & offer final analysis
 

1 All in all, by utilizing evidence, applying logic, and clever use of some words, Eliana manages to put forward a cogent argument to cast doubt on negative misconceptions about early computer use and convince her readers that parents had better let their kids benefit from early exposure to technological advancements. (664 Words)

 

 


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